Eat Locals

Nothing works in the directing debut of noted character actor Jason Flemyng. It's a ramshackle vampire comedy horror where the dreadfully unfunny gags are long-in-the-fang even by nostalgic Carry On standards and the gross-out gore is fumbled at every turn. The feeble plot revolves around a crack team of Special Forces vampire killers hunting down the ruling British bloodsuckers gathered for their bi-centennial meeting at a remote country farmhouse. Billy Cook is the naive Essex lad lured by sexy cougar Eve Myles into the fanged-up fold to serve as a midnight snack. The game cast of British sitcom stalwarts (including Annette Crosbie and Mackenzie Crook) and Flemyng's mates (Dexter Fletcher, Ruth Jones, Freema Agyeman) tries to breathe life into the dodgy DIY proceedings, but fail to elevate the lame Brexit jokes or shoot'em-up battle stupidity - choreographed by Jason Statham, no less! - into anything more than a wrongly timed, camp farrago.