Paloma Faith on diversity at Glastonbury: "I'll believe it when I see it"

Strictly speaking, we’re here to talk about her slot at Glastonbury Festival, but the conversation soon turns to the singer’s 2022 break-up with French artist Leyman Lahcine, her husband and the father of her two daughters.

Faith has written frankly about the "devastating" split on her new album, The Glorification of Sadness, and its lead single How You Leave a Man, and says her appearance at Glastonbury represents a kind of rebirth. “Having gone through this break-up and learnt to be a single mum with two very young kids, I often feel unsure if I’m doing the right thing,” the 42-year-old admits. "When they said I had the Pyramid Stage on Sunday, just before the ‘Legend’ slot, I was like, ‘How in God’s name have I got that?'

"Sometimes when you get a big knock to your self-esteem, like a big break-up, you feel a bit washed up. So when they told me [the news], it felt very special."

Faith’s Glastonbury gig will come towards the end of her UK and European tour, and while she is excited to be performing again, she admits it hasn’t been easy to juggle it with caring for her children, aged eight and three.

"I’ve got more energy than most but, frankly, I’m so tired," she says. "Touring as a single parent is something else. Back in the day, I’d get in at two in the morning and then I’d sleep in because my ex would look after the kids. But now I get in, get four hours sleep, then I’m up getting them ready for school."

Even before the split, Faith says she struggled to balance being a mother with having a career. She is so passionate about the subject that she has written a book called MILF: Motherhood, Identity, Love and F**kery.

"I don’t believe we can have it all," she says. "I feel a bit disgruntled about society’s expectation on women, because we were given this idea that you could work and have your own money and independence while raising children. What we’ve ended up with is far too much responsibility, and I think a lot of women are burning out.

"Parenting is a full-time job. If you’re also CEO of your own business, like I am, then I’m meant to delegate to my partner, but that’s a full-time job because they’ve not got any initiative. It’s exhausting and you sacrifice something, always."

Faith, whose biggest hits include Only Love Can Hurt like This and Stone Cold Sober, has been known for chatting to her audiences since she started performing some 16 years ago. But where her engagement with the crowd used to be all about having fun, she says it has changed this time around.

She explains, "I keep saying on this tour, in between songs: men need to do more, they need to step up to the bar. And it’s not just about saying, 'Oh, you’re a great person, I’ll cook you dinner once a week.' It’s about having initiative and adopting what are assumed to be some feminine qualities in the household. If you see your partner do the same thing every single day for six years, why don’t you just do it and take it off her hands? I’ve had a lot of men walk out of my shows with their wives in tow. And I say, 'Goodbye – you’re obviously one of the ones I’m talking about.'

"Up until now in my career, I don’t think I’ve ever really projected like a sexy, empowered woman. It’s always been quite tongue-in-cheek but I feel like this is a feminist angle. It’s almost like I’m a new artist again."

It’s not just the music and the chance to play at Glastonbury that has given Faith an added oomph, however. It’s also, as the title of her book cheekily suggests, the fact she has rediscovered her sexuality through dating – often younger men.

Has it given her a boost, I ask her, to discover she is hugely desirable after coming out of a long relationship?

"100 per cent," she says. "Ages of feeling completely unattractive. And then you’re like, 'Oh!' There was a Chris Rock special on Netflix recently and he talks about how the best sex you’ll ever have is with a woman in her 40s."

Again, though, the conversation comes back to juggling childcare with her dating life. Faith admits that’s also not easy. "You try and compress all of your own personal needs and wishes into the children’s sleeping time, which is roughly 11 hours a night," she says. "And that means if you want to do some work, write a book, have sex with someone, you’ve got to squish it all into those sleeping hours. I rarely get more than six hours now."

Faith’s frankness is refreshing, funny, and extremely relatable to women of a certain age.

I do wonder, though, how brave she felt she could be when talking about such intimate subjects so publicly. "I did have to carefully edit the book and the album, because I still have to maintain a relationship with my children’s dad and there’s a fragility to that," she says.

"I had the pull between that, but also feeling that the culture needed an injection of the truth.We skirt around it: people know that it’s hard to be middle-aged, or a single mum, or go through a break-up – but there’s nothing that really talks about the real harsh truth of it and I think it’s important."

This year, after much criticism about the lack of female headliners, there are more women than men leading the way at Glastonbury for the first time, with top billing for Dua Lipa and SZA, and Shania Twain taking the coveted "Legend" slot.

For such a confirmed feminist, that must be pleasing to see? With typical candour, Faith says she fears the move could be a "knee-jerk reaction" to the criticism rather an indicator of lasting change.

"What tends to happen is they’ll diversify," she explains, "and include non-white races and women again, and everyone says, ‘Isn’t it great? We’re progressing’ – and then it goes back to white men again for years. I’ll believe it when I see it."

But she adds, "I’m there to watch as many women artists as I can. I really want to support other women. Everyone they’ve got is amazing. This industry tends to be a bit sexist and overlook women of my age. I felt that there was no way in hell that I would be acknowledged as a worthy person because I’m 42, so I am moved by it.

"It feels life-affirming that they think I’m a safe pair of hands to carry that moment for all those people who are there after days of hedonism! It’s very special."

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