Yesterday's Hero

After The Stud and The Bitch bestselling author Jackie Collins wrote this soccer saga, only this time, sister Joan was nowhere to be seen - that says it all! Ian McShane is the George Best-inspired footballer aiming for a comeback after beating a booze problem. Will he make it to the cup final? Paul Nicholas (playing an Elton John-type rock star chairman) and Adam Faith (as McShane's manager) help him achieve his goal. Nicholas sings the theme song and teams up with co-star (and US sitcom celebrity) Suzanne Somers for a few other dreadful ditties shoehorned between snippets of disco hits such as Ring My Bell by Anita Ward and Wanted by The Dooleys. Strictly fourth division in every aspect.