If Carrie Fisher has her way, Princess Leia and Han Solo are in for a rough ride in Star Wars: Episode VII.

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Fisher, who confirmed in March that she will be reprising her role from the original trilogy, has pitched her ideas for the plot of the long-awaited follow-up to Return Of The Jedi. The farce, as you may expect, is strong with this one.

“Han Solo and I have been unhappily married for many years, and so we speak through the wookies and use a translator,” she told a reporter, not entirely seriously, at Australian convention Sydney Supanova. “I regularly say to R2 ‘Tell that son of a bitch to ***!’ And we have children, but one of them looks a lot like Chewbacca, and we use Yoda, who’s regenerated on a planet somewhere, for marital therapy. I urge Chewie to get waxed for sure!

“There’s also a lot of shopping because there’s cool things to buy and giant planets that are shopping malls. Alderaan means shopping mall by the way. And then I start sleeping with robots, how about that?”

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Whether or not director JJ Abrams heeds her call for a ground-breaking drama centered an inter-species affair remains to be seen. We'll all just have to wait until 2015 to find out.

Authors

Stephen Kelly

Stephen Kelly is a freelance culture and science journalist. He oversees BBC Science Focus's Popcorn Science feature, where every month we get an expert to weigh in on the plausibility of a newly released TV show or film. Beyond BBC Science Focus, he has written for such publications as The Guardian, The Telegraph, The I, BBC Culture, Wired, Total Film, Radio Times and Entertainment Weekly. He is a big fan of Studio Ghibli movies, the apparent football team Tottenham Hotspur and writing short biographies in the third person.

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