It’s official: this is the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe

“My dad suggested I register for a donor card, he’s a man after my own heart.”

Graham, a West Bromwich-based care worker and self-proclaimed “General Punochet”, said: “I’m proud and honoured to win Joke of the Fringe. The funny thing is that it was Dave’s Joke of The Fringe that inspired me to become a comic. I remember picking up the paper years ago, reading the top ten gags and wondering if I could write a decent one myself, so it feels fantastic to have actually won!”

He also told the Guardian that he doesn’t think it’s his best joke, and that “only the clean material gets on the list”.

To compile the shortlist, UKTV channel Dave enlisted the help of the country’s foremost comedy critics. Each of the judges watched an average of 60 different comedy performances and sifted through more than 3,600 minutes of pure lols. This meant they each had a potential pool of around 7,200 different jokes to choose from.

Possibly the best (or worst) job ever.

The shortlisted gags were then put to 2,000 Brits, with no reference to the comedians who told them, who then voted for the jokes they found the funniest.

Runners up include Stuart Mitchell’s joke: “Why is it old people say 'there’s no place like home', yet when you put them in one…”

And Mark Watson’s: “I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of ten.”

But our favourite is: “Why is Henry’s wife covered in tooth marks? Because he’s Tudor.” By Adele Cliff.

The most groan-worthy jokes were:

“In France J-Lo is called ‘I have water’” – Adam Hess

And…

“What do you call three members of ABBA in a French slaughterhouse? ABBA trois” – Darren Walsh

See the full list of winners below:

Dave’s Top 15 Funniest Jokes from the Fringe Festival 2016

1. “My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.” - Masai Graham
2. “Why is it old people say 'there’s no place like home', yet when you put them in one…” - Stuart Mitchell
3. “I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10.” - Mark Watson
4. “Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.” - Mark Smith
5. “I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn’t much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer… came second.” - Will Duggan
6. “Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” - Tiff Stevenson
7. “I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.” - Gary Delaney
8. “Why is Henry’s wife covered in tooth marks? Because he’s Tudor.” - Adele Cliff
9. “Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?” - Annie McGrath
10. “Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.” - Jordan Brookes
11. “Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be President, as long as your husband did it first.” - Michelle Wolf
12. “I spotted a marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound.” - Roger Swift
13. “Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.” - Arthur Smith
14. “I’ll tell you what’s unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses.” - Zoe Lyons
15. “Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word.” - Phil Nicol