Stags review: Brits get banged up abroad in Paramount Plus's geezerish jailhouse dramedy

Set in South America, filmed in Tenerife and starring a largely British cast, the multi-national six-parter stars Nico Mirallegro (who to a certain generation will always be Hollyoaks’ troubled goth Newt) as groom-to-be Stu.

As evident from the opening pre-proposal scene, where he misplaces his engagement ring on the River Thames's foreshore, he’s not always the sharpest tool in the box. Then again, neither are the motley crew of buddies invited to his hedonistic stag.

Snooty Hugo (Paul Forman, fast cornering the market in playing Frenchmen following his stint in Emily in Paris) apparently makes a living trying to sell credit cards to children. And not just one but two pals suddenly decide to smuggle cocaine on the journey home in a region not exactly renowned for its lenient drug trafficking laws.

While loudmouth schoolmate Ryan (Corin Silva) manages to get past security with his small stash, shifty work colleague Greg (People Just Do Nothing’s Asim Chaudhry) isn’t so lucky when the coke-filled balloon he’s swallowed violently bursts, putting his life and, in turn, the rest of the circle’s in danger.

Indeed, the party – which also includes future in-laws John (Cavan Clerkin) and Kai (Jojo Macari, on a hot streak following his dastardly turn in Amazon Prime Video’s gladiatorial epic Those About to Die) and family man Ant (This Country’s Charlie Cooper) – no doubt wish they’d simply settled for a paintballing weekend in Bognor Regis when they’re all thrown into a highly intimidating island prison, albeit in some rather fetching yellow jumpsuits.

Within minutes, they’ve witnessed one prisoner getting beaten to a pulp and then, after being allowed by the fearsome guards to make a run for it, another getting blown to smithereens. "It makes Guantanamo look bougie," John notes, not unfairly. Little do they know that things are about to get even worse.

For the rowdy jail also inhabited by chickens, almond butter-selling vendors and street kids who serve as go-betweens via Google Translate, is ruled with an iron fist by two warring siblings.

There’s Selma (Paulina Gálvez), a high-powered husband murderer who amusingly tries to find common ground with the Londoners ("Harry Kane? Parklife?") before essentially forcing them to participate in a high-stakes version of Britain’s Got Talent. And then there’s Branco (Oscar Foronda), the moustachioed man with a rather unnerving penchant for organ harvesting.

Director David Kerr (Johnny English Strikes Again) does a great job capturing the horror of the hellhole surroundings the gang are staring down a possible life sentence in.

He also handles the balance of crime and comedy well, ratcheting up the tension one minute and then puncturing it with a macabre quip ("Even with one eye, I can see he’s got cirrhosis," a roughed-up henchman remarks during a game of 'Who Wants to Volunteer a Kidney?') or sight gag the next. Stags may well be the first show to feature an accidental death by toilet seat, for example.

Unfortunately, the script – from the first two episodes available for review, anyway – doesn’t give us much reason to invest in the prisoners’ fates. The opening 10 minutes, which documents the drug-addled carnage of the stag do itself, is more interested in showing copious amounts of vomiting than offering any kind of character development.

Furthermore, the personalities that do come through are largely of the insufferable kind. Stu and co are the type of boorish holidaymakers you’d actively avoid if you had the misfortune to find yourself in their vicinity, with the majority a relic of the geezer films that dominated Danny Dyer’s career in the ‘00s.

And, apart from one admirable act of self-sacrifice during a torture session, they’re remarkably quick to turn on each other too. Like so many 'worst case scenario' dramas, Stags wastes its intriguing concept on a bunch of individuals so unlikeable and selfish you start to sympathise with their oppressors.

Still, there’s enough going on elsewhere within the prison – the conspiracy which proves that several members of the party aren’t as innocent as they seem, the increasingly outlandish power struggle between Selma and Branco – to sustain interest beyond their survival.

The cold open, where two security guards are seemingly dispatched with by a malevolent unseen force, suggests that a supernatural element may come into play at some point too.

For better and for worse, then, Stags certainly isn’t your average prison drama. Indeed, anyone expecting Jimmy McGovern-esque realism should look elsewhere. But its no-holds-barred approach ensures that its confident marketing spiel isn’t too wide of the mark.

Stags debuted exclusively on Paramount Plus in the UK on Thursday 15th August - sign up for Paramount Plus here.

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