Britain’s Got Talent returns tonight with acts so elaborate the show has to carry two ‘do not try at home’ warnings.

Of course, there are the usual bonkers performers too: one man plays Stevie Wonder’s I Just Called To Say I Love You on a comb, while a female contestant tries to coax her chicken, who has just pooped on her, around an obstacle course. Yes, this is a show trying to find an act fit for the Queen...

But there are plenty of jaw-dropping (in a good way) moments as well. Twenty year old free-running instructor Matt has the judges in a state of complete panic as he appears to fall from one of the theatre’s royal boxes. Meanwhile, a brother and sister rollerskating double act will have you literally screaming “MIND HER HEAD” at the TV as her bonce is swung what looks to be millimetres from the stage floor. Seriously, definitely don’t give that one a bash at home. You just know you’ll stick a foot through the TV…

Among the duff and the dangerous there’s the usual influx of fluffy entertainment. Simon Cowell finally appears to find a singing dog, which had a room full of press, the judges and producers literally clapping at the screen during this week’s launch.

Poor Ant may have a different view. Puppy Max, who can also sing apparently (what's in dog food these days?), takes rather a dislike to the presenter and does nothing but run after him and and nip his ankles, all thoughts of Pudsey-esque stardom flying right out of the window. Perhaps he's trying to encourage a new double act: Ant and Dog?

Tonight, the first Golden Buzzer is also pushed and Mr Walliams forces Cowell to dance through an act he hates, which means the series has really started.

Britain’s Got Talent starts tonight at 8:00pm on ITV

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