Why Demi’s Love Is Blind decision was the girl power moment we need more on dating shows

At least, that's the hope.

With the dream of living happily ever after saying the big 'I do', weddings are a time of joy, and the start of the next phase of your life. You have someone in your corner to build a home and possibly family with.

'I don't's' are normally reserved for soaps like EastEnders, done so for drama and the person involved getting away from a potentially disastrous situation.

In the case of Love Is Blind, 'I don't' means the end of the experiment and your time with your would-be other half. It’s an acknowledgment you aren’t the perfect partner for each other and, in some cases, it’s a moment of clarity from the bride or groom, who is finally clocking the red flags they’ve tried to desperately ignore.

On all the versions of Love Is Blind (which now has eight spin-offs as well as the main US series), the ‘I don’t’ moment is met with tears and tantrums from those who were stood up at the altar. It comes with caveats and explanations as to why they wanted to say no. A lot of the time, the snubbed doesn’t understand why, even though they’ve been rowing the entire series.

But during Love Is Blind UK’s wedding week, Demi turned what could have been a heartbreaking situation into a moment of power and affirmation.

To witness Demi's decision to say no to Ollie – not because she didn’t love him, but due to love for herself and finding clarity in what she needed – became a standout moment of dating shows and reality TV, and delivered a new kind of happy ending more dating shows should get on board with.

When Demi entered the pods, she was someone who openly admitted her fear of ending up alone. She referred to herself as "one of the boys" due to her love of football and boxing, and she spoke of being 'friend-zoned' – stuck as the girl-friend, but rarely considered the girlfriend (something I will admit, hit very close to home).

At the age of 30, she was ready to settle down and take that next step, but was missing the self-confidence to make the leap. Enter: The Pods, a means for her to get to know someone and flirt anonymously, without fear of how she might be perceived.

Through the experiment she found Ollie, a 33-year-old software salesman who made her laugh, lifted her up emotionally, and made her feel the kind of love she deserved. He made her feel like a woman, praising her curves when they finally met and flashing a cheeky look at her bum as she walked away. Most importantly, he embraced her family, took their questions and hesitations with grace, and made dedications to her father – someone whose long-time loving relationship Demi wanted to emulate.

Sure there were some up-and-down moments, but the love was definitely there, and it had solid foundations to be a strong match. More importantly, you saw Demi become more self-assured, not just in her couple, but also in moments with the girls away from Ollie.

When it came to Demi and Ollie’s wedding day, the pair used their vows to gush about their love for each other. Demi called Ollie an ‘amazing human being who makes the room light up’. She praised his ability to make her feel safe, and how he encouraged her to ‘feel light and free’. Demi told him how she wants to continue to see him shine, and how much their journey has meant to her.

But that didn’t stop her from, perhaps shockingly, saying no when it came to crunch time at the altar.

"I love you, but I don’t," Demi told him, later adding, "I've learned to love myself in a whole different light during this journey, and actually that's testament to you, Ollie. I know you do love me, and I know you care about me, and I know you appreciate me, but I know what I want from my husband, and I don't think we're quite there, obviously.

"But it's not ‘I do not’, and I’m gonna walk away from you forever. It’s that I do not for now, because honestly the time we’ve spent, I feel like you've seen me and I love you."

It's a rationale that, clearly, Ollie felt as well - with the pair sharing a hug and mutually accepting that they weren’t over, it was just the wrong time to get married and they needed time to grow as a couple.

Rather than react with anger or upset, Ollie cemented himself as someone who truly understood Demi. Thanking the congregation of loved ones for being there, he later agreed that a marriage isn’t a rush to the finish line, promising to get there at their own pace.

There was no dramatic moment, no rage, little confusion. It was a gesture of pure love on both their parts to know a wedding was not the end game – but they still could be.

Time will tell if they have managed to work things out (the reunion special is next week and should provide some new insight), but for Demi to know that she is enough, with or without a husband, sends a strong and powerful message.

Everyone deserves their happy ending, especially Demi and Ollie, who were willing to put her insecurities and relationship out into the world in the name of love. To witness her growth from someone who felt like she wouldn’t be loved to truly knowing her worth, and learning that a marriage doesn’t automatically make a strong foundation, is the kind of happily ever after I can truly get behind.

All episodes of Love Is Blind UK are available to stream on Netflix now. Sign up for Netflix from £4.99 a month. Netflix is also available on Sky Glass and Virgin Media Stream.

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