Simon Cowell gets a grilling from David Walliams

Simon Why, do you google me and read what’s written about me?!

David Errrr... no, but I have a Google alert on my own name, and sometimes you come up, because you’re sort of famous by association.

Simon Look at me. Have you ever googled my name? This is between us. Have you googled my name hoping to find bad things?

David I might google you when you go on holiday... I want to see who’s on your boat... It’s always Jackie, Sinitta, Lauren, and I’m wondering, “Where’s my invite?” Am I ever going to be on the boat?

Simon You can come on the boat, David...

Have you ever lied as a judge?

Simon Obviously. Sometimes you have to tell what’s called “a kind lie”. With a kid dance act, for example, that’s not very good... I obviously can’t say what I really think! Especially if they’re a bit fragile... Have you?

David No, never. That’s why I’m the nation’s favourite. People don’t realise we see about 650 people over the series and only one in four of those people make it onto the TV. So there’s a hell of a lot of people who are just mediocre.

Simon Being mediocre is the worst thing.

Who has been your most successful act?

Simon Diversity, Susan Boyle, Paul Potts... Stavros Flatley does 300 gigs a year! I mean, who’d have thought that? I am happiest about Susan because I think – I don’t think in fact, I know – that if it wasn’t for BGT, there’s not a talent show in the world that would have put her on, believed in her, and made her a global star. It was a turning point for the show and for me actually, as a person.

It sounds like a cliché but she made me realise that you can’t judge a book by its cover. When she came out, I remember thinking, “God, I hope you’re not going to sing, because I just...” And then it was amazing! I deliberately kept me in [the edit] looking like a horrible person as a reminder of what can happen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

David Could the dancing dads go global?

Simon A hundred per cent. I think it’s more than global – we’re talking the universe here!

Are the public better judges than we are?

Simon Sometimes they see something we don’t see. What you or I say is never the end of the story. The public will determine whether an act finds success beyond the show. I always want incredible things to happen but if you spend a year making a record and you put the record out and nothing...

I’ve always believed an artist determines their own career. We can put some money up, we can help them, we can advise them, but you need someone who has got talent and who has got that determination. I always use Beyoncé as an example – she’s got real steel in her eyes – nothing is ever going to stop that girl.

David Do you ever feel you’ve let an act down?

Simon I hear stories about artists who say we didn’t do enough, but we did everything we normally do. I can’t make the public go and buy something if they don’t want to buy it.